I got a call...

I just got back from vacation and have been crazy busy catching up with work from being out of the office... I'm also getting prepared for the holidays.  Around 10 yesterday morning I got a call from CK (my agency) asking me pretty much if I was ready.... Wait, what? 

She said we're doing a final review of your chart, checking off things and wanted to see when you'd be ready for your first kid!  I obviously start sweating and laughing immediately... Wait what?  She said they had a few things they were getting clarification on from the home study (still) but after that, would I be ready for a kid?  Still laughing I walk into the hallway and just say, "yeah I guess..." not sure that was the best response but it's just such an odd question.  I understand why they ask it, but it just seems like I've been doing nothing but paperwork and training for so long.  I'm ready, definitely, but wait what?  I probably said that 10 times on the phone with her... I just couldn't process all that she was saying as fast as she was saying it.  She's probably said this schpeel to people a million times so she had it down, but my brain could not keep up.  I mean, yes, I'm ready.  I cannot be more excited and if I get a placement before Christmas then yes, let's go.  But in between everything she's saying I'm thinking, I haven't cleaned the house.  I need to organize clothes that I recently got.  I need to put together a chair my parents bought me.  I need to get Bailey (my dog) to the groomer so she's ready.  It was so crazy, the biggest to-do list and some bizarre/unimportant things started popping into my head...

I got off the phone and just mentally crossed them all off.  Because they don't matter and the things that need to happen will happen.  I don't think i'll get a kiddo before the weekend (because she'd call to let me know my home study was completed and revisions were done).  That at least gives me the weekend to put stuff together, clean the house and just get some kid groceries.

I asked her for a realistic date and she said it could be by the end of the month... Eeek!

I haven't blogged in a bit but you haven't missed anything really... Just lots of freaking out (as of yesterday) and last minute planning, Christmas shopping, working and lots of laundry in between it all. 

Anyways, thanks for all the prayers thus far!  I'll update here as I know more!

My Heart for Her...

I read this on a blog and I feel in love with it.  I had it bookmarked and would re-read it every so often.  I wanted to share not only for this girl, but for all young women out there as a simple prayer...
 

My heart for her is that she will learn that her journey is where she will become strong

that her strength is from God not within herself

that she waits for a man that will love her heart, her mind and dream her dreams as well as his own

one that will respect her choice that true love waits, because he too is waiting

that she explores her God given dreams with no pressure to marry before her time

that she opens her heart to God’s invitation to be transformed by Him

 

that she stands when no one else does

that she speaks for those who cannot

that she be the light when everything else is dark

that she has the eyes to see the lovely in the unlovely, for that is so often where we see God

that she lives loved... because she knows the depth of which she is loved

that she hears His song over her each and everyday

 

that she is able to forgive because she knows the depth of her forgiveness

that family always matters and knows that it's worth fighting for

that she would keep God first, others second and herself third

that her trust is always safe with the One who is perfect and steadfast

that even if she had no one she is not ever alone because God is always with her

 

that she has a heavenly Father who gives good gifts to His children

that the gifts He has given her have been hand chosen for a purpose

that she is able to see her path before her clearly and will follow after it even if no one else sees it too

that she dreams big dreams and prays even bigger prayers

and that with each day she will love deeper, fight harder and pray with conviction

adapted from the original post here, The House of Belonging

Umm... Hi, yes... Party of 2

For those questions about the timeline... As of now, my paperwork is done, unless there are more questions from the home study of course, (and there have already been additional questions).  Sigh...

My fire inspection is all that I have left and it's been hard to get ahold of the right people so its not scheduled yet but I'm hopeful that after thanksgiving it will be.

So, the date is Dec 16!!  That does not mean that a kiddo would be with me on that date, I'm just thinking that will be the date that I officially open my home, which just means it now becomes a possibility for a kid that meets my parameters.

Why Dec 16?  I get back from NY with my grandparents on Dec 15.  I could have opened sooner, however I couldn't have traveled with her to NY because tickets were already bought, plans made, etc.  If I did have her, she'd have to stay with a respite provider but due to all the changes and transitions already happening and the trauma that comes with getting placed into foster care at all, you can't use a respite provider within the first 30 days.  This is really just to help her adjust and for us to establish a routine and relationship before she's off being babysat by more people she doesn't know. 

Once I get back from NY, I have no plans to go anywhere.  Christmas I'll be local and if she's with me, we'll probably stay at my house, just to help her continue adjusting and keeping that routine, but going to my dad's house during the day to hangout.  After that, my cousins wedding will be at the end of January and she would just come with me... Crazy! 

On a side note, I currently have a car seat in my backseat.  Trippy.  I turn around often and just stare at it...